complaints

From: SPENCER E. CLOUGH (SEC@vms.cis.pitt.edu)
Date: 04/01/94


     I am placing this request on the list-server at the
as a favor to a friend who does not have access to it. sec
_____________________________________________________________

Dear Law Libbers, 4/1/94

     Our Public Services Department is considering implementing a formal greivance procedure
for our pro-se patrons. Please give the following proposed complaint form your critical attention.
Any suggestions or reactions would be appreciated.

                              Oliver W. Douglas III
                              Head of Public Services
                              Hadley V. Baxendale Law Library
                              Pithole, Pa.

_______________________________________________________________

                      HADLEY V. BAXENDALE LAW LIBRARY
                       PRO SE PATRON COMPLAINT FORM
                         LIBRARY FORM #8PRL-F001

     In an effort to better serve the needs of the general public the administration of the Hadley V.
Baxendale Law Library has provided these forms for patrons to assess problems with the library's
public service procedures and policies. When problems arise please take a moment to fill out this
form, in triplicate, preferably using a ball-point pen, no.2 lead pencil, or red crayon. File copy #1,
(white), with the library administrative assistant, copy #2, (blue), with the Federal agency of your
choice, (eg. FBI), and keep copy #3, (yellow), for your personal files. Make legible marks to all
appropriate responses in the left side blank.

     If you are unable to read these instructions a reference librarian will assist you by reading the
questions. However, library staff members are strictly prohibited from interpreting the questions on
this form.

     Name
     Address
                                                  
                                                  
                                                   
     
     (optional) age gender M F

     Education: Grades 1 - 6 6 - 9 10 - 12
           GED School of Beauty Culture
           Correspondence School
           Prison School of Hard Knocks
           Other

     What is your Occupation: Paralegal
          Beauty Consultant Wilderness Guide
          Body guard Mercenary
          Historian Telemarketer
          Bounty Hunter Library Student
          Figure Skater U.S. Taxpayer
          Satanic Cult Expert/Deprogrammer
          Snap-on Tool rep Other
     
     List all Correctional Facilities and time served:
          County Jail
          State Minimum Security
          State Maximum Security
          Federal Minimum Security
          Federal Maximum Security
          Institute for Violent Criminal Offenders
          Other
     
     What civic/professional organizations do you belong to:
          Rotary Historical Society A.C.L.U.
          S.L.A. (Special Libraries Association)
          S.L.A. (Symbionese Liberation Army)
          Posse Comitatus W.C.T.U.
          A.A.L.L. (student member)
          N.R.A. Other
               
     How did you find our Library?
          Lawyer's referral Judge's referral
          Doctor's referral Cellmate's referral
          Stumbled in Voice in my head
          Librarian's referral (please let us know
          who the librarian was, and where they work, so we
          may personally thank them):
                                                            
                                                            

     What is the nature of your research?
          Pending civil trial
          Pending criminal trial
          Pending civil appeal
          Pending criminal appeal
          Pending capital offense appeal
          Geneology Traffic violation
          Constitutional Tax Issue
          Federal Wiretapping Law
          Divorce Parental Divorce, (please
          indicate by child or parent)
          JFK Assassination Conspiracy
          UFO Operation Bluebook Coverup
          Conspiracy of the Illuminati
          Motion to remove government planted transmitter from my head
          Library school assignment
          Other (25 words or less)
                                                            
                                                            
                                                            
                                                            
                                                            

     Nature of Library Problem:

          Library was: too hot too cold
                     too loud too quiet
                     too dark too bright too crowded
                     too full of strangers staring at me and listening to my thoughts.
                     just right for my purposes,
               (please explain in 25 words or less)
                                                                      
                                                                      
                                                                         
                                                                        

                 Library staff was: uncooperative smug
                     surly stoopid prudish
                     insulting to: me
                     my spouse my mother
                     my hounddog Blue my pickup truck
                     THE FLAG/BIBLE

          Library photocopiers were:
                       too hot too cold
                       too loud just right
                       uncooperative
                       stealing my life savings
                       destroying our natural resources
                       infringing on my moral rights as a performance artist
                       destroying our library school treasure hunt

          Library was out of the following supplies:
                       copier paper copier toner
                       pens paper clips
                       aspirin AK-47 magazine clips
                       Kleenex other

          The following was lost/stolen: pen
                         personal book(s) notes
                         tape recorder brief case
                         purse/wallet laptop computer
                         lunch historical manuscript
                         novel manuscript ideas/thoughts
                         generic brown-paper-wrapped-ticking
               package (mark here if rush)
                         pet: cat mouse dog
                                spider snake
                                6ft. rabbit other pet
                         other items (please describe):

          Librarian on duty was:
                      bearded, fat guy
                      tall, skinny guy with glasses
                      short lady with black hair in a bun
                      short lady with gray hair in a bun
                      short lady with white hair in a bun
                      night time desk attendant suffering from
               porphyria
          
          Action recommended: purchase new copiers
                      hire more staff
                      fire all staff
                      find that package
                      burn the place down and start all over
                      repent now, or burn for eternity!

          Library Response: requested
                       not necessary
                       not necessary because I'm telepathic.

     Thank you for having taken the time to fill out the law library's Pro Se Patron Complaint form.
We will keep this information strictly confidential, and use it only to assess
how well the library is fulfilling its mission of providing legal research services to the public.

LIBRARY FORM #8PRL-F001z.2U APPENDIX
________________________________________________________________
FOR OFFICE USE ONLY

     Recommended disposition:
                  take patron recommended action
                  survey user group
                  file for future
                  discuss at admin. meeting
                  refer patron to another library
                  take medication
                  dispose of
                  call S.W.A.T. team
                  take April Fool's Day vacation! :-)sec



This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : 03/09/00 PST